Ego and Self-respect

I have been thinking about two words: ego and self-respect. And really, what’s the thin line that separates the two? I (and I think, all of us) have been reading that ego is bad and self-respect is good. Well! If that’s true, then the line that differentiates them, better be broad and visible. Good and bad cannot have a thin line of differentiation, right?


OK. Let’s examine what’s ego and what’s self-respect. Dictionary meaning of the two words is almost the same (sense of self-esteem or self-importance), and hence, let’s not be bothered about that.

Ego is a natural feeling or emotion, and almost every human being has it. Ego is associated with ‘approval from others’. . I mean, if I do something, or I achieve something, and it is approved by others, my ego is satisfied. On the other hand, if I do not hear the approval for my achievement (or whatever it is that, I think it is worth approval), then my ego is hurt. This is natural, and usually harmless, until it goes beyond limits and becomes inflated ego. The people who have inflated ego, are always seeking approvals and appreciations from others, and feel hurt if they don’t get that. In worse cases, such people start complaining about ‘not getting enough appreciation’. Worst cases can even lead to feelings of revenge.

Another shade of ego is ‘Extreme self-importance’. Sure, everyone feels that he is important (to others). That’s fine, but if one starts feeling that he is more important than others, then that borders on ego. A friend of mine never calls or emails anyone. He feels that others should call/email him. By doing so, he sends a message that he is important to others, while others are not important to him. To me, this is ego. You get what you give, after all.

On the other hand, self-respect is a healthy and necessary feeling, I think. It is also an expression of self-confidence. If you do something or achieve something, and you yourself are happy and satisfied with it, that’s self-respect. If he doesn’t get any appreciation, a self-respecting person will still feel happy and satisfied, because, he is not even seeking for any.

Upon failure, people with ego feel extremely hurt, because their ego is hurt, too. Whereas a self-respecting person always takes failure in his stride and moves on, because he has self-confidence, and he very well knows that one failure doesn’t mean a lot.

So, in short, ego is an outbound emotion, and self-respect is inner-bound.